So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize