Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
