Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm always down for nudity.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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