Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How many fucks given?
0.12846
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
