Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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