Its about making memories worth repressing
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize