The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
