she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
