i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
