where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
