Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
