Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
