Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
