this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
