turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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