Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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