That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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