It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
