I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
