I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
