you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
