He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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