You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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