We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
