Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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