we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
