Do you still have your period?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
