he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
