this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
