i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
