HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
