and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
