Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
