He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
