i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
