I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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