I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
