just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
