just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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