And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
