ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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