I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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