What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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