If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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