Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
