i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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