i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
