There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think my vagina is haunted
We got so high we made milksteak
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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