I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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