New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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