ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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