a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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