so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
