was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
