I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
