i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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