Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
even my farts smell like vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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