It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
