Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
