normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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