I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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