I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
