Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
