Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Alive.
So much puke
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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