Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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