google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
