Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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