You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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