You're my little dorito
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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