pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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