I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
