I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
