I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
